Saturday, September 27, 2014

Dancing with the Stars Recap - It's My Jam!

Previously on DWTS: pros and stars danced, a boa got stuck, Carlton kicked Bel Air ass, Lolo got a serious case of stage fright, Julianne showed off her....assets and made passes at people, but Lolo and Keo went home.

Opening number! It's a big ballroom affair. Len is dancing! I bet he is a hoot away from the judges table. Carrie Ann is dancing-ish, Bruno was Born this Way and works it on a staircase, and Julianne gets spun around. I like this new opening sequence style!

First up: Randy and Karina! We revisit last week for filler purposes, then we find out they are doing the Cha Cha. I think Karina had her lips plumped up. She has a Jessica Simpson vibe happening below her nose and above her chin.  Randy's jam is I Can't Get No Satisfaction. It's military themed. Honestly? The rehearsals looked a bit better than the actual dance. Maybe it's because they went first or maybe nerves because of the live audience?!? It wasn't bad, it just wasn't great. Karina's outfit looks like someone played pin the pastie on the the pin-up. Len says his footwork wasn't too great but that his heart gave it everything. Julianne says he has fighting shoulders and it was really fun and a great way to start the night. Bruno says we have a new hip action hero. The energy and enthusiasm are in the right places, just tidy and sharpen everything up. Carrie Ann says she was a little underwhelmed. I agree, Carrie Ann, but the audience apparently does not.

Up to Erin: Randy and Karina get a lot of support from the DWTS cast. She thought the dance was fantastic. Would she tell them if she thought it sucked? Football players were asking her about Randy over the weekend.  Randy chose a military inspired theme because he was in the Army for 6 years. He dedicates the dance to present and former military. Aww, that was nice! Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len 7, Julianne 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 28.

Commercials.

Next: Janel and Val. Last week Janel was disappointed in their scores. This week, Val brings the hammer down. Janel says his teaching mood is 'kinda grumpy'. This week they look more like friends than lovers. Hmm. I wonder if they were told to tone it down, or if maybe the honeymoon is just over. Or maybe it's the Joey Tribbiani theory that the attraction is palpable until they sleep together and then it goes away. Either way, Janel should be glad she doesn't have Maks as a partner, I bet that would be a much bigger hammer with a lot more force.  Janel's jam is "Call Me Maybe". LOL. They are doing the foxtrot. Julianne says it wasn't a traditional foxtrot, but she loved it. We know it's true because she sang the loved it part. But, Janel needs to stick her feet. Bruno calls her hot to trot and says with a few exceptions, it was almost perfect. Carrie Ann is complementary and says it was close to perfect. There's a lot of facial expressions from Janel during the judging. That is one expressive face! Len says Janel can really dance.

Tom reminds us there is a DWTS live chat happening RIGHT NOW!

Up to Erin: All the instruction paid off! Janel says she likes the tough love as Erin chucks her in the chin, but Erin didn't mean to. I never could see it. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, Julianne 8, Bruno 9 for a total of 34. Janel is happy, so happy. There are lots of facial expressions and hamming it up for the camera.

Moving on: more people dance! Commercials.

Next: Lea and Artem. Lea is having trouble with having been in jeopardy. This week they are doing the jive. Lea is adorable. Insecure, but adorable. Lea's jam is Land of 1,000 Dances. She was worried about doing the jive, but it looked great! She makes it look easy and it totally is not easy! Her posture could be a little better, she slouches or something. Bruno says she was incandescent like Ann Margaret. He did notice that she missed a tiny pass. Carrie Ann says the ladies are killing it tonight. Um, it's the 3rd dance. She is starting to get get all Bruno on us. And then she falls off her chair. We don't see it, we just see the empty chair. She's okay. Len says Carrie Ann kicked him in the lower portion. Tom, "Isn't it great it get feeling back there again?" Heh! Everyone reacts hugely! Because this is LIVE TV! Len loved the jive and so did Julianne, who got chills more than once. She also says that Lea held her own.

Up to Erin.  Artem became a U.S. Citizen. Congratulations, Artem! Erin rapid fires questions at Artem. He looks like a deer in headlights. Then again, the citizenship test isn't rapid fire and high pressure like that. Nor does it ask your favorite state. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, Julianne 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 35.

Next week is movie night, in case you are interested.

Next: Michael and Emma. Michael must have watched last week's show or read the reviews or something. This week he's super charming and funny and doesn't obsess about Bill Envall. Good job, there, Mikey! Michael's jam is Girls In Bikinis. Emma isn't thrilled about the prospect of wearing a bikini, so she ends up putting one on over her clothes. And then she says she's rocking the Betsey and does a cartwheel into a split.  HA! Not to be outdone, Michael also puts on a bikini top. He is not, for the record, wearing a shirt. Okay then.

Commercials.

And we're back! Emma and Michael are doing the samba. Emma is wearing a bikini, albeit a very modest, you-can-dance-in-it bikini. I'm not sure where the samba is to be honest. It's a lot of hip shaking and some samba steps. Up in the balcony, everyone is politely applauding. Carrie Ann says she saw a 'wonderfully agile hip rolling pool boy, but not much samba.' Len says he put the sin in syncopation. It was wild and wacky but he liked it. Julianne says he mastered the hip roll but it's the 'in betweens' that need some work. Bruno says Michael is the envy of America because he's surrounded by Bond girls and throws around the dirtiest sounding names. Blah, blah, blah. Not much feedback about his actual performance.

Up to Erin. She mentions the hip rolls and Michael says, "I was just so happy, Erin. I couldn't contain myself. I forgot to do some of my steps properly because of the enjoyment I was having being with (and then he sings) girls in bikinis."  The audience loves this. On to scores. Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, Julianne 6, Bruno 6 for a total of 24. They were hoping for a 7, but they are going to keep working.

Travis and Sharna are up next. They are doing the Cha Cha this week but Tavis is doing press for his book, which is cutting into his rehearsal time. It looks like they are rehearsing everywhere whenever they get a minute. Tavis is getting stressed out about remembering the steps and says he's going to have a meltdown.  His jam is Boogie Wonderland. Woohoo for disco! Sharna spends a lot of time dancing kind of in front of him, I wonder if that's a strategy.

Len says his tough week showed. It needed to be polished, more Cha Cha content and more detail. Julianne agrees with Len about the details. She felt like it was his jam and that he performed it really well. Bruno demonstrates disco because of course he does, and then he says Tavis has the disco fever moves but the Cha Cha was too stompy. Carrie Ann disagrees and thinks he got the steps.

Off to break and when we come back, we get scores and Alfonso and Whitney. Alfonso is dancing to Will Smith because of course he is. Well, if DWTS can't get Will Smith in person they'll use his music, dammit!

Commercials.

We're back - Scores! Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, Julianne 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 28. Tavis says they'll take it.

This week the pressure is ON for Alfonso and Witney. Alfonso says their job is to work as hard as they can and then try to top it.  Witney's face does not show agreement with that. It's going to be super difficult to replicate because last week was the first night and the judges weren't really sure what to expect. This week, they know what he's capable of and are going to expect more. That's a lot of pressure on both of them. Honestly, I think we are going to find Alfonso is a bit of a high-pressure perfectionist and will take it personally if he doesn't meet his own expectations. So this show will either be a great experience for him or a horrible one. And, at practice, he's already in his own head. They are doing the samba and are both getting frustrated. Witney impresses me. She handles the situation beautifully and says she is just worried about letting him down. Girl, you are fine. Alfonso is right. He needs to learn how to deal.

Time to Get Jiggy Wit It. I could watch them dance for hours. They are so good! I'm not sure how much samba it had, but it was a great, great routine.  The audience loved it too. Julianne says he's great and makes everything looks wonderful because has the Alfonso groove. She wants to see the Latin and ballroom groove. Bruno says his personal style, charisma and feel for the music is unique. But he agrees with Julianne that the performance was astonishing but lacked the samba bounce. Carrie Ann says he lost connection a little in the  middle and that it was a solid performance, but not his best. Len says he was popping like buttons on a tight shirt and that the last two dances were right up his alley, Next week they will do the Viennese Waltz and Len wishes he was going to be there to see it.

Up to Erin: So Alfonso IS a perfectionist. Alfonso, like a true pleaser, is going to listen and try to follow the advice.  Scores: Carrie Ann, 8, Len 8, Julianne 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 32. Not bad, Alfonso! They seem okay with the scores.

When we come back - Bethany and Derek dancing to All About that Bass. I love that song...have you seen the Jimmy Fallon/Megan Trainor version? It's better than the original.

Commercials. Time to fund all that spray tanning.

We're back. Tom informs us that Lea and Artem are leading with 35, at the bottom are Micheal and Emma with 24.

Bethany and Derek are talking about their performance last week. Taylor Swift tweeted their performance and it trended. Awwww! In rehearsal, Bethany says that she's been having problems with her ankle since last week. Derek is concerned. Bethany says it's getting worse. Derek says she smiles it off.  Bethany now says it's getting a lot worse. Will it affect their performance? They are doing the foxtrot. Derek is a choreography genius. They use a bass in the dance and I'm guessing he revamped it a bit to take some of the pressure off Bethany's ankle - well after she freakin' balances on it. HOLY COW! His visual style just kicks ass. Period. Sadie in the balcony looks concerned. Bruno says it was a Bob Fosse foxtrot and that she did it very well. Carrie Ann says she's doing a great job at telling the story with dance. Len says its a great number! Julianne says Bethany is her jam and that it was awesome.

Up to Erin: She wants to know what's better - having Len, the social media shunner, say put that in her blog it or having Taylor Swift tweet it? Bethany says it's all surreal. Erin asks about her ankle, and Bethany says that when she's out there it's nothing and afterwards it's painful Then they show the bass balancing again. Since no one told her it was dangerous, she didn't think anything about it. Go girl! Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, Julianne 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 33.

Coming up are Antonio and Cheryl doing the rumba, and Betsey and Tony. Betsey looks amazing this week. Very old school glamorous.

Commercials

And we're back. Oh, Betsey and Tony are up first. We revisit boa-gate.  Betsey is going to have a make over. She's always wanted to be like Ginger Rogers. She is worried about messing the dance up. Betsey and Tony are doing the foxtrot this week. Betsey's jam is Girls Just Want To Have Fun. When I watch her dance, I totally forget her actual age. The dance is elegant and well done.  Tony is thrilled! Carrie Ann bows down to her and  says "All hail Queen Betsey!" and loves that her talent was shown rather than her fun personality. Len says last week was a night to forget and tonight was a night to remember. Julianne says it was a make under and that it was beautiful and timeless. Bruno says she's the glamour queen of the night and Mr. DeMille was delighted. Okay, but how was the dancing?!?!?

Erin asks her how she feels. Betsey says she feels completely remade by Tony. She says that she's never felt pretty and that Tony wanted her to feel pretty. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, Julianne 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 28. Betsey says 7 is her favorite number.

Commercials.

Now it's Cheryl and Antonio time. Cheryl is afraid of bees as I am and does the don't sting me dance. They are frustrated in rehearsals and go outside to have a conversation about it, only they are wearing mikes and it's taped. Weird! Now we get to see the dance. Antonio can actually move really well, and that rumba is hot. I have no idea what the song was, though. A Google search informs me it was Adorn. Len says not to over analyze and to just come and enjoy it. He says there's no secret to this show, you just have to come out and better every week. Julianne says this dance is a lot better than last week and she's impressed. Bruno agrees and likes his lines. He tells Antonio that he has a nice butt and to use it even more. Carrie Ann says it was subtle and that was the right approach. She tells him to watch the arm that's not in hold.

Scores after the break. Next up are Sadie and Mark. Via video chat, Duck Dad that has a problem with a costume cut down to the crack of her ass in back. I don't blame you, Duck Dad.

Commercials.

We are interrupted for a special report to tell us we have started airstrikes on Isis.

Back to the show..just in time for scores. Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, Julianne 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 31. Apparently Antonio can't remember the dance?!!!? I'd know for sure, but instead I know we are making airstrikes on Isis, which is important to know but not relevant to the show.

Tommy and Peta. They open with a Cheech and Chong skit. Heehee. Also, Tommy is forgetful. I wonder what could have caused that? They are dancing salsa to Higher. Peta says they need to focus on technique and can't rely on just his personality...Bill Engvall would disagree. Tommy has some serious rhythm and he makes the dance look like fun. Julianne says it was fun, fast, funny...effing fabulous. Bruno says he can party like it's 1969 and that age is a state of mind. Carrie Ann says he's the big kahuna because was the first to bare his chest. She also says that he danced smooth and right in the pocket of the salsa. Len says was overdosed on fun. Well done.

Up to Erin for scores. They get a standing ovation on the way. Erin mentions the open shirt and says that Betesy says she felt pretty tonight so how does he feel? Chong: cold. HAHA! She asks him how young he feels. He says...oh, about 72. ::snicker:: Peta feels like he brought the house down and that he's amazing. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, Julianne 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 28. Erin asks what they have in store for next week and Tommy deadpans, "Please vote for us because if you do we'll save the world." And there you go!

The final two dances are coming up. Jonathan and Allison and Sadie and Mark. I'm already tired of the chicken/duck wing move.

Commercials.

We're back! The pros are Getting Jiggy With It too!

Jonathan and Allison are talking about last week in a nail salon, I think. Bet they are getting pedicures from all the abuse their feet go through. I know I would. Jonathan says that three weeks ago he didn't even know Allison and now he feels like she's his best friend. Slight pause and she says, 'totally'. That sounded sincere. Cut to the studio and they are doing the Cha Cha. Jonathan is excited about the Cha Cha. Allison says that Jonathan's sexiness comes across as funny, and cuckoo, and uplifting and she just needs to hone him back down. However, the next scene is Allison saying, "Make love to me!" as they do body rolls and she yells out, "uunnnnnhhhhh...boom!" and then "oh. OOOHH". Must have been quite the...body roll. Jonathan says he has to bring out his sexy side and then gets all goofy. One more awkward scene between Jonathan and Allison with sexual innueno-ish and then we get to see them dance. Finally! Thank you! His jam is Sing. And they kiss. Wow. Peta and James saved that for the finale last season. The moves are sharp and Allison has incredible legs. Bruno starts talking and Tom says he gets creepier as the show goes on. Bruno says they were rushing some of the steps and then he gets cut off by Carrie Ann who says there wasn't enough Cha Cha in it. Len says it was jerky and contained very little content. Allison looks upset. I would be too. Julianne says she agrees with not enough content but they have potential for growth.

Oh. The balcony is called the sky box. Good to know. High fives for everyone. Erin says something about flim-flam and Jonathan says it's a dessert. Allison defends her choreography and says she wants to bring something unique to the show. Jonathan points out they are both new to the show and therefore flying somewhat blind. I recommend watching past seasons because content has always been a big thing with the judges. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, Julianne 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 30.

Commercials.

Finally we get to Sadie and Mark.  He was impressed with her performance. He says she was cute last week and this week she needs to be swag. Then we see her dad give his input on her costume for this week. He doesn't like anything and then she comes out in her robe and he's all "Mark! This is perfect!" I don't think he thought that through because while it does cover more skin, let her twirl around a bit in that and we'll see way more of her than we would in a skimpy costume.  They are doing a jazz routine to She's Country. She's wearing very short cut-off shorts and a tied up sleeveless shirt that reminds me of a picnic tablecloth. Well, that's a sexy little routine. But seriously...can we stop with the chicken dance? It's not a wedding reception and she's got mad talent. She has to have had some dance experience. As they walk to the judges table, Tom says, "Daddy's little girl is growing up fast." Carrie Ann asks if her dad was okay with that routine. I second that concern. She thinks Sadie killed it. Len says jazz and country don't quite gel for him. Julianne says she's a natural performer and the thing that was so special about her from last week were her leg action and her technique and that she missed that this week. Bruno was supposed to be skipped but is having none of that tonight. He keeps it simple and says that it was great.

Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, Julianne 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 31. I'm super distracted by Sadie's mouth movements. Maybe she's wearing Invisalign or has something on her teeth to make them white or make it easier for her to smile.  Mark and Sadie seem disappointed in their scores.

Review time. We are given info so we can vote. Lea and Artem are still at the top of the leader board and Micheal and Emma are still at the bottom. We'll see you tomorrow for elimination.

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